Old woman

I used to look forward to turning a year older.…All right all right, I will tell you why: once upon a time, there was this guy. He was 10 years older — not to bore you with old drama — he made me feel inadequate for being young(er). That whole thing with guy didn’t work out (obviously and thank gawd). People (myself, included) tend to glorify or romanticize birthdays, the way they do New Year’s: a time for changing! A time to re-assess who you are and what you want to be! A time to set new goals and check what you have achieved in the past year, five years, decade. I’m simply not in the mood. Today, tonight, and like many of the past Birthdays — I would rather drink.

I barely got any sleep last night and I woke up feeling less than stellar at 730am. People who know me know that I usually don’t wake up before 9 in the morning. I carried on as usual: wake up, stare at my ceiling light, shower, coffee, internet. I felt that familiar icky feeling when you lack sleep. I just hoped that the days leading up to my 23th birthday wouldn’t be spent like so.These past few weeks i woke up at 5am, a friend of mine told me it's a sign of aging. (seriously??)