It Ended Bad, but I Love What We Started

Torturous memories flash through my mind—the weekends, holding hands, kissing, the movies, his gentleness, his humor, and his dark, brooding, sexy stare. I miss him. It’s been fifty five days, fifty five days of agony that has felt like an eternity.
I wrap my arms around my body, hugging myself tightly, holding myself together. I miss him. I really miss him .
The last there words from this letter you wrote to me. I want you to say it, here, right now, in front of me. :(

I can't read whatever is there in your mind. if there's anything that bothers you, please don't turn into giving up in this relationship. i know you are confused with many things, preoccupied, overloaded, yet giving me this one surprise is definitely unacceptable when you think that i am incapable of making you happy. We both believe in each other that no matter how difficult things can be, they can still be ironed out by holding on and never letting go while believing that good things await at the end of line. I may be at times be perceived careless and irresponsible, but don't you think it's unfair to stick with the idea that i am that kind of person? I mean yes, there were times i was like what u exactly think, but as much as i am aware of it, i repay it with thoughtfulness and greatness of what i can do beyond my limit, above my capabilities. I cannot think of the best solution of this predicament you are going through your life now because i myself ask you questions whenever i would go through the same. What hurts me time and again is that whenever you needed me to be around and i wouldn't be there, you accuse me of being careless while i am thinking how i manage to be around as much as i could. I definitely know that you know the feeling of eagerly wanting to go but you couldn't. I may have allowed it to happen but it's against to my will. Please, please... may i just beg you to please for the nth time, don't let it end.. especially now.

1 comment:

  1. There have been thousands of attempts, went in and out my closet, stepped in and out my door, made every second shut my working mind over the torture that no one else knows but you. I pretended to be okay as much as i could to ease my chest that's been pinched by a sharpest needle everytime i think of you. If there's faster than a millisecond or a microsecond, that's how my heart beats for you. I've looked all over walls ceilings,mirrors, mountains and waters and our reflections appear: happy, sad, laughters and frowns, and LOVE. I went contemplating from different places where the best LOVE REHAB (as we both call it) may be at and thus going to those places only added up to my eagerness of going back and you.. possibilities from my side may be vague or blurry, yet i continue hoping. if dying is ending up my life, loving you then resurrects me.