Having little, to no motivation left me feeling somewhat out of control; that feeling of bewilderment where everything you have done should fall into place but doesn’t, and leaves no direction at all.
From a very early age I was always accepting of my life and I believe that must have given me some form of control over my problems. Maybe the pleasing side of me I have spoken about previously, allowed me to be accepting; because I learned not to challenge.
One thing I know now though, is that I cannot always be in control and that is something I have come to accept. I think that has helped me deal with CP, because I know that I cannot change it. It is who I am.
I also know that I had to come to terms with other people and their attitudes and have accepted that too, as part of my spiritual growth and fulfillment. I can only change myself and although others should have done the same for themselves, it wasn’t for me to ask them to change.
I have adapted into my ‘new life’ away from the spotlight of family and understand my journey better than I did before. Today I feel a little brighter, slightly more motivated, calmer and more relaxed and back in control of my thoughts. I will be back on the site tomorrow with more.